Josselyne Herman-Saccio (SAY Joss-Lynn Herman SAHHCHEEO) is a master coach in the Art Of Being Unmessablewith no matter what life throws at you.
She has spent over 30 years as an entrepreneur, former pop star, author, coach, course leader and curriculum designer of transformative programs. Her mission is to empower people to live the life of their dreams NOW, versus someday and develop themselves to be “unmessablewith” in the process.
She is the author of several books including Peace Promises: 30 Days to a more peaceful life, THE PROMISE EFFECT: How to create a life that wasn't going to happen anyway with Susan Woldman Elfer and SO YOU WANNA BE A NEW YORK ACTOR: .The New York Actors Guide to The Career of Their Dreams While Paying the Rent
She has appeared in dozens of media outlets including ABC, NBC, CBS, Wall Street Journal, New Yorker Magazine, The New York Times, Fast Money to name a few, as well as having her TEDX Talk: Abracadabra: Living the life of your dreams NOW not someday.
A wife and mother of three and a native New Yorker, Josselyne lives in Manhattan with her husband and children.
In this episode, we discuss:
😴 Becoming a master coach
😴 Being Unmessablewith
😴 Impact of sleep on menopause
😴 Acceptance and being awake
😴 The power of your word
😴 The power of word to create reality
😴 Overcoming fear of public speaking (or anything that makes you anxious - like Sleep Anxiety!)
😴 Why interrupting & pausing is everything
😴 Incomplete items create fodder for the mind
😴 Simplicity in managing sleep
😴 Various offerings to work with
😴 The world of creation
😴 What could we learn from Josselyne’s sleep night habits?
🧠 If you “Can’t Turn Your Brain Off” at night… https://magbreakthrough.com/sleepisaskill
🎢 If you're waking up at 3 a.m. & suspect your blood sugar...
I drink 'Good Idea' before a meal that I KNOW I'll likely spike from since it has been shown to reduce glucose between 20 & 30 percent!
Good Idea Code: SLEEP10
🎢 If you want to track your blood sugar for an affordable rate, that ships internationally AND integrates with Oura…
Veri Continuous Glucose Monitors Code: VSM-SLEEPISASKILL
ADD Bioptimizers (you can check in my latest newsletter for more)
"My sleep has made the biggest difference because it's allowed me a lot of peace of mind." - Josselyn Herman-Saccio
The information contained on this podcast, our website, newsletter, and the resources available for download are not intended as, and shall not be understood or construed as, medical or health advice. The information contained on these platforms is not a substitute for medical or health advice from a professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation.
Welcome to the sleep as a skill podcast. My name is Mollie McGlocklin and I own a company that optimizes sleep through technology, accountability and behavioral change. Each week I'll be interviewing world class experts ranging from doctors, innovators and thought leaders to give actionable tips and strategies that you can implement to become a more skillful sleeper.
Let's jump into your dose of practical sleep training.
Welcome to the sleep as a skill podcast. My guest today is a very special guest because among her many accomplishments, she is also my very own high performance coach and someone that now is absolutely indispensable in my life. And I know she's made a huge difference in thousands of other people's lives to transform how they approach life in general, but certainly of course, in today's conversation, how they approach sleep and how to be unmessable with.
With their sleep. And we'll get into what that means. She's also the coach for my husband, Blake, and many others of the people that are close to me in my life. So really jump in. You're in for a special treat. First, a little bit about our guests. Jocelyn Herman Sachio is a master coach in the art of being unmessable with no matter what life throws at you.
She has spent over 30 years as an entrepreneur. Former pop star, author, coach, course leader, and a curriculum designer of transformative programs. Her mission is to empower people to live the life of their dreams now versus someday and develop themselves to be quote unquote, unmessable with in the process.
You can read more about the many accomplishments that Jocelyn has been at the source of in the show notes. But the big takeaway is she has created the life of her dreams, has raised close to 90 million for various nonprofits and been seen on tons of different press outlets. Beyond that, she offers one on one coaching, group coaching, and we're going to leave all of those links again in the show notes so you can check her out.
And again, I know you're going to really enjoy this episode. The C D, C reports that more than one in three Americans are sleep deprived, and it's estimated that sleep related issues like trouble falling asleep, staying asleep in sleep disorders affect around 50 to 70 million Americans. This is problematic because, as you all know by now, if you've been listening to this podcast or on our Sleep Obsessions newsletter, please sign up if you're not already signed up.
or are part of our program. Sleep is strongly tied to our metabolic health and over time, poor sleep can contribute to the deterioration of metabolic health. So how do we fix this? Well, let me introduce you to our new sponsor, VERI spelled V E R I. which is a metabolic health company that combines a continuous glucose monitor, or a CGM for short, with an easy to use app to help you find the right foods and habits for your unique body.
At Sleep is a Skill, we're all about finding ways to be our own best health advocates and take control of our own health. Using a tool like Vari allows me to experiment not only with food, but workout, stress management, and of course, sleep, and see how each choice is affecting my blood sugar in real time.
It allows me to see which habits to keep and which I should consider dropping. It can be a challenge to measure which interventions are working. So just like tracking your sleep can show you exactly which habits have the biggest impact on your rest and recovery, tracking your glucose is key to understanding how sleep impacts your metabolic health.
Because Vari is the only CGM company that also brings in sleep stage and heart rate data from your wearable. They also have a cool new integration with Oura Ring as well. You can really see how sleep and metabolism are related. They're also great for people new to metabolic health because they built guidance features right into the app.
Bonus, they are available outside of the U. S. as well, which has been a struggle for me with some of the CGM companies for those of you who are international. So if you want to find the right foods and habits for your body while improving your health and of course impacting your sleep, Give very a try.
They're giving listeners an exclusive 30 off your purchase using code VSM dash sleep as a skill at checkout. Now again, that's V S M dash sleep as a skill at checkout. And you can also check out our online store at sleep as a skill. com. Here at the Sleep is a Skill podcast, we're all about enhancing your sleep and a cornerstone of that journey often revolves around stabilizing your blood sugar levels.
That's precisely where good idea steps in. Good idea is an innovative drink crafted by scientists in Sweden that actively assists in balancing your blood sugar. This sparkling water laced with a unique blend of amino acids and minerals synergizes with your body's natural metabolism to decelerate the sugar absorption from your meals, ensuring a smoother, steadier blood.
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Sleep. So enjoy a good idea alongside your meals. Often I use it as an alcohol replacement, whether you're at home or on the move or at work. And here's some good news, we've teamed up with good idea to offer you a special deal. So visit www.goodidea.com and use the code Sleep 10 for a 10% discount on your first order.
Now, invest in better sleep and in turn in a better, more energized life. As we head into the fall and vacation season winds down, i. e. a time when late nights, irregular eating habits, and indulgence tend to become the norm, it's time to get back on track with our health and, of course, our sleep. Just a quick interesting fact about sleep to mention, drinking more than two servings of alcohol per day for men and more than one serving per day for women Can decrease sleep quality by 39.
2%. A sleep foundation survey reports, not even mentioning all the indulgent food and late night effects that often come along with it. And as we know, sleep is the key to your body's rejuvenation and repair process. It controls hunger and weight loss hormones, boosts energy levels and impacts countless other functions.
A good night's sleep will improve your wellbeing much more than. Just about anything else I can possibly think of on the planet. You know, I'm biased, but got to say that. And sleep is your major to focus on as we head into the fall season and hopefully beyond. And that's why I recommend that if you're going to start taking some supplements on your sleep, often magnesium is a great place to begin.
But not just any magnesium supplement, I do recommend getting the magnesium breakthrough by by optimizers. Magnesium breakthrough contains all seven forms of magnesium designed to help you fall asleep, stay asleep and wake up refreshed, which isn't that what we're all looking to do. The sleep benefits are really remarkable.
I use it every night. And once your sleep is optimized, you'll find it much easier to tackle all the other major. And trust me, it is a game changer to test it out to visit mag breakthrough. com forward slash sleep as a skill. You can enter code sleep as a skill for 10 percent off for any order. This special offer is only available at mag breakthrough.
com forward slash sleep as a skill. I will also include this in the show notes as well. And welcome to the sleep is a skill podcast. I could not be more excited for this episode today. I have the pleasure of introducing you to first off my very own coach who has absolutely transformed my own life daily.
I feel, but also I have such respect for this human. I have known her even before I had the privilege of working with her as a coach. I had the opportunity to see her in action leading. multiple seminars and just being in the front of the room in front of hundreds and hundreds of people just owning the stage.
The list of accolades for this human is just countless and so of course in the intro you've already heard all the things that she is, uh, has accomplished but I just want to say Jocelyn, thank you so much for taking the time to be here. always do anything for you. You are one of my favorite humans as well.
We are now humans officially on this call. So there you go. Oh my goodness. Well, and you know, before we hit record, one of the things I was sharing was just kind of reflecting on the episodes that we've released to date on the sleep as a skill podcast, given that the process of being able to know ourselves as someone to be able to fall asleep with ease, stay asleep, but also just set up our lives in such a way.
that actually facilitate to have sufficient time to make all of those things happen routinely. We find that this is a huge, huge struggle for so many people, and I don't think we've had enough episodes by any means to address the components of what that takes, even from, you know, kind of a mental game of this, the mindset.
So I'm so grateful to have you to kind of help us bridge that gap. So to begin, How did you become this master coach that is able to, with velocity, help people to get, interrupt some of these patterns that we find ourselves in? Well, I started, uh, participating in transformative workshops when I was 11 years old, so that is 45 years, uh, this year.
Uh, so that's a long time, right? So mastery, as, as you know, takes 10, 000 hours minimum. And I have been coaching people since I was 19 years old. So that is way more than 10, 000 hours. Let's put it that way. Um, and I began leading transformative programs in my late teens. And really I got committed to the difference that transformation makes, which I know you and I share that view.
It's just, it makes the difference. In people being able to fulfill their dreams and live the life of their dreams versus chase their dreams. And so myself, when I first participated, it was because my mother had participated in a workshop and my parents were separated at the time and, you know, they were going to get divorced.
And then a year later, my dad did the same workshop and they got back together and they just celebrated 65 years together. They're 90 and 92. So for me. Transformation, without that, I wouldn't have the family that I have, so I immediately started participating, and when I was in my late teens, I got committed to giving it away to other people, so I started getting trained to deliver transformation, which is very different than being a consumer of transformation, you know, to be able to make that difference for other people, and Thank you.
In my very early 20s, I was in a workshop myself and one of my own limiting beliefs about you can't do your art as your career came up as a belief, not as the truth, which is what happens in transformation. You see things that you think are true or real. And they turn out not to be. And all of a sudden you have these breakthroughs because that thing is no longer stopping you.
It's no longer in your way. So you're just like full steam ahead, like a rocket ship in those areas. And within three months of seeing that, I got a record deal, which was my dream since I was, you know, tiny. And that's when I got committed to making sure that people had the life of their dreams, fulfilled their dreams and developed.
The muscle that I call being unmessable with in the face of any circumstance, no matter what life is throwing at you. So that's basically what that started over 30 years ago. So that's my, my beginning of my journey as a transformative coach. Amazing. Amazing. And you mentioned this. distinction that you speak to often and you know, it's often now rattling around in my head this conversation or this idea or concept of being unmessable with and I'm curious if you can help us kind of further flesh that out and then how in the world that could potentially apply for those of us struggling with our sleep and how to be unmessable with as it relates to our sleep.
Yeah, totally. So first of all, being unmessable with doesn't mean being tough or, you know, impervious to your feelings or something like that, which is sometimes what people hear. What it really is, is being able to stay in the space of creation and fulfillment. So you create a vision or a dream or a calling or something that you're committed to, and then you act from that place rather than getting hooked.
into the world of reaction where you're dealing with, you know, your amygdala brain that has you in fight or flight and, you know, has all those, you know, hormones going and has you be, you know, survival mode, reaction mode. It's a very different world even when you're good at reacting because a lot of successful people and I pretty much work with mostly really successful people like you and you're good at reacting.
You're good at handling things and dealing with Of fires or whatever it is. So that's a very different mode than creation mode, which is most of the work that I do with people, as you know, moving people from that space of reaction to creation. Now, how does that relate to sleep? One of the biggest things that messes with people that I've discovered over the last 30 years is sleep.
Mm is a top tenor, you know, even a top three and well being, I would say, is in their money is another one that messes with people. But sleep is a huge one. And most people are at the effect. Of their sleep versus at the source of their sleep. And one of the things that I love about what you do, which moves me so much about, you know, your commitment to give people autonomy with their wellbeing is about being at the source of your sleep, being the author of your sleep.
Most people are not the author of their sleep. They are reacting to how much sleep they got, how much sleep they didn't get. You know, I mean, it's just a total reaction. Yes. Oh, if you could say more too about this author, this authorship of your sleep, because I think some people listening, so even to use myself as an example, I could only, I wish I had you available when I went through my period of sleeplessness, which was just, you know, one of my rock bottom moments in my own life.
And during that period, using myself as an example, There was a sense that this is happening to me. This, I'm gonna have the effect of this. I, something happened, something in my brain is broken, and now I cannot sleep. So, when you say this authorship, this might be a new concept for people, and how in the world can they author their sleep?
Well, I can just share from my own personal experience because when I went through menopause and I didn't even know I was going through menopause, you know, but one of the symptoms or manifestations of menopause is sleep impacting your sleep, right? And I could not sleep. I was up most of the night. I was like watching more episodes of I don't even know what on Netflix.
It was just like one after the other after because I could not sleep no matter what I did. I could not sleep and I was totally at the effect of it. Yeah. And for myself, you know, it was a blind spot for me because I just figured this is just the way it is. You know, you get into your 50s and this is just the way it is.
And then when I finally went and got tested and saw that I had zero estrogen and zero testosterone and all these things, like, I then was at the source of the breakdown. I got to what was the source of my lack of sleep. It wasn't stress or whatever stories I was telling myself. Well, maybe I'm under too much pressure and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, or whatever.
Yeah. You know, because I know myself as somebody who is at the source of everything in their life, except for sleep at that point. Yeah. So getting the reality of what was happening hormonally in my body put me in the position to be the author of what was happening. Now, you can't always have a say over the circumstances.
I didn't have a say over my hormone levels at the time, right? Or my age or whatever. But I have a say over how I respond. respond, which is the unmessable with part. So instead of being like, well, I just can't sleep and there's nothing I can do about it like a victim. Yeah. I got into the mode of creation.
Okay. What am I creating here? I'm creating wellbeing. I'm creating peace of mind. I'm creating vitality. What do I need to do to. have that be the outcome. And one of the things that I did was research the whole thing about the hormones. And no matter what people's view is about that, I got in communication with a doctor that now is working with me on my hormones.
And literally within one week, I was like a different person. Within one week of the hormone therapy, I was like, Oh, I remember who this person is. This is the person I used to be before I was like a sleep crazy person. But sleep messes with people and it's the number one cause of psychotic breaks is a lack of sleep.
And people don't take it seriously enough. I mean, not like you have to be all like significant, but yeah, tend to it. Yeah, absolutely. So one of the things I'm definitely getting out of this conversation too is this ability to swiftly be in action, to set ourselves up powerfully, to align with those that can help support us on these journey, these paths, uh, pathways for action become available when we start coming at it from a perspective of I can author this story and make a difference here.
So when it comes from the physiological perspective, that might mean working with different practitioners, doctors, etc. And from the other side of it, from one of the things that I know you've mentioned to me over, over the years, some of the things that seem to come up for people are just, This lack of workability in their lives, you know, their finances aren't working.
Their taxes aren't paid there. This is not tolerating a bunch of garbage in the space. And that does impact your sleep because when you have things that are unresolved in your life, they're like a pebble in your shoe. You know, you can't quite get comfortable in your shoes. It's the same thing with your sleep because your brain, when you're trying to sleep or sleeping, will bring up all those things that you're not dealing with because they're still there.
They're not complete. So a couple of things about that. One thing that I saw for myself, again, this is just for my own personal sleep journey, is when I would wake up in the middle of the night. I would then try to get back to sleep and that's a cheeseless tunnel. So now I'm resisting being awake and anything you resist persists.
So it just became like a big ball of craziness, right? So I was, I would wake up and then I would react to waking up like I shouldn't be awake. And the moment you're operating from a should, you know, reaction, you're now deeper into the reaction. So if I shouldn't be awake, then I should fall back asleep.
So I shouldn't watch TV because that's bad and it'll keep me awake. And I should count sheep or practice some meditation, dah, dah, dah. But now I should have this working and now you're just shitting yourself into an eternal spiral of should, so to speak, you know, one of the breakthroughs I had mindset wise is to be awake when I was awake and be asleep when I was asleep, when I would wake up, I would just be awake and then I would find myself falling asleep so much easier and quicker than when I was trying not to be awake.
Isn't that just interesting how important that distinction in and of itself can be? And we see that all the time for people with their sleep, that ability to play with this acceptance of, yes, I'm asleep. Yes. And, you know, I shared with you that I signed up for improv a little bit ago and the whole boils down to yes, anding your whole life, right?
And, and so much of us can not want to do that at certain times when we want the picture to look a different way. So you found for yourself and people you've worked with, then ability to start as we accept that reality as it is, then it actually seems to help deliver those results that we would like to see with more velocity.
Totally and ease and flow, which also has a lot to do with people's sleep is not being at ease. Yeah. So if you're not at ease in your marriage, if you're not at ease with your well being, if you're not at ease with your finances, if you're not at ease with your family, that gives your brain something to ruminate on, which can keep people awake or stop them from being able to sleep peacefully, even when they do sleep, they have a disruptive, not a peaceful sleep, not a deep sleep, but, uh, an active sleep, so to speak, because you're dealing with things that you're not dealing with while you're awake.
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I can also just share one of the things that just came up for me is one thing that's just been so transformative working with you because I wish I had been able to work with you for years and years. And now this is a newer thing of working with you. And it's been amazing, like life changing.
And a couple of things that I've seen for myself is literally just even beginning with the days and the management of our calendar. So I start there just because it's one of the more practical things I've seen for so many people throughout the course of night because then they do wake up at the 3 a.
m. or what have you and then that laundry list of all the things they got to do and maybe a sense that, oh, I can't handle it. I can't juggle all the overwhelm. Overwhelm and burnout are a big messer with your sleepers. Yeah, and with my work with you, it's just been, it's almost so the simplicity of now, okay, taking that laundry list of thing that's running through your mind at 3am and actually putting it into reality, into our calendar.
for the following day, but then building the muscle of actually trusting ourselves that we'll do those things that we put in there. So I know you do a lot of work with people around just the power of your word and actually beginning to trust yourself. So you can let your brain just relax and be at ease and trust that things will get handled in a way and they need to be handled.
And I'm wondering if you can share a little bit about that, like why words being so important to improving sleep. Well, the biggest thing that messes with people. Is their word, ultimately. Yeah. And that goes with your word with sleep, your word with your money, your word with your relationship. So it's kind of like the overarching umbrella is word.
And then there's all these categories that mess with people, right? So word is a little conceptual for most people. It's like, what do you mean my word, my word? But anything that you create, the mode by which you create it is in word. Ultimately, I mean, unless you're sculpting a thing and then it's clay, that's, that's the mode, right?
But mostly in your life, when you're creating a breakthrough in your business, or, you know, you're creating, having a husband, or, you know, doubling your, your sales, or whatever it is that you're creating, that's in language that you're creating that, right? Even a sculpture, you're going to create it in language first, like I'm going to create this sculpture.
I'm to do the artwork. And yeah, exactly. Exactly. Nice idea. So everything, ultimately the common denominator is word. And most people are better at keeping their word to other people than they are at keeping their word to themselves. So if I say to you, I'll meet you for this podcast at X time, it's unlikely that I'm not going to show up.
But if I say I'm going to go to the gym five times this week, I can buy myself off. Like, well, I'm a little tired and I didn't really get enough sleep last night, so I'm just not going to do that or whatever. So people buy themselves off pretty cheap, you know, in terms of not honoring their word. So one of the things that I've found to strengthen that muscle of being unmessable with is being unmessable with, with your word.
So if you say something, it happens. It isn't about. What you give your word to or who you give your word to, like, if you gave your word to Blake, yeah, you're gonna keep it because it's Blake. But what if it was, you know, you gave your word to take out the garbage at seven o'clock in your calendar. So you gave your word to your calendar.
There's no person. There's just your word. As itself, and when you can start to relate to your word as itself as what has the power rather than the who or what you give your word to, then your word starts to build real muscle. So when you treat the garbage at 7, not 7 on 1, 7. Why? Because you said so, not for any other, there's no reason.
Yeah, you could come up with 20 reasons to keep your word to Blake, but you don't need a reason. If you honor your word as itself, and the moment you start doing that, you can create things like intimacy in my marriage and have it happen because you said so, or triple my business because you said so, then all of a sudden things you say become like law in the universe.
I know it sounds a little woo woo, and you know me, I am not a woo woo person, but it is no different than any muscle. If you say X and do X enough times, that is the muscle that's going to get built. If you say X and say, and then do Y. Because of this reason or that reason or what, then your exes aren't going to have the kind of power and bam ness than if you are saying X and doing X over and over and over again.
So it's kind of like, whatever you say, just practice doing it and then all of a sudden you'll be able to say things that alter life. Not just, you know, oh, I'm going to do 100 sit ups, so I'm not going to do 99, I'll do 100 because I said so, you know, and it takes something, it takes discipline, and I find that sleep takes discipline too, it's a skill, as you say, and it really does take setting yourself up so that at the end of the day, you've completed all those items that you haven't done by either putting them in your calendar for another time or whatever.
So you're not going to bed with a laundry list of undone things, of pebbles in your shoe, or peas in your mattress, like Princess and the Pea. Yes, exactly. Well, it actually, that also makes me think of too, One of the defining things that we find that makes such a difference for people in managing their sleep is just so simple and it begins with the honoring your word with your wake up time.
So if you're listening and there's, you know, all these different things that you can do to improve your sleep and what have you, and it's like, where to begin. We almost always start with people on their wake up time and actually being their word what they set their alarm at X time or whatever, and that we are keeping that and that's where I find that people start getting kind of loose with their word.
And this is where people say. Well, you got to listen to your body, intuition, you know, this word stuff sounds so like extreme and alpha, you know, all of that stuff starts coming up. And one of the things that I would love to put in for that now, of course, there's asterisks for all things. If you're sick, if you're a doctor, yes, of
course, manage yourself accordingly. But largely one of the things that we find really, really works just for your body to have that consistency of. Circadian rhythm and the anchoring of we get up at around the same time, largely every single day. That's where a lot of just the practicality of that word piece even comes in with sleep is honoring that.
So in those moments, how do you not get hooked by that kind of your personal state? Oh, now I have a headache and it's, you know, 6 30 a. m. And I don't want to get up or I didn't have the best night. I want to push things out. How do you deal with that? It literally is muscle and practice. So, I mean, I wish I could say it's a magic pill.
I mean, people try and trick themselves and they go, Well, I'm going to have to put money in a jar if I don't or whatever. I mean, you know, you've got to like incentivize yourself somehow. For me, it's enough incentive that it's my word because I identify with my word. And the thing is that most people don't identify with their word.
They identify with their feelings or their body. Or their emotions or their mood. So if you wake up in a lazy mood, then you're going to listen to the, I got to honor my feelings. I have to honor what my body is telling me. So if you identify, whatever you identify as, whatever you honor has power in your life.
So if you identify as your body, then you're going to have to listen to your body. If you identify, and again, caveat, doctor, doctor, okay, fine, but you know, if you identify as your mood, then if you're in a bad mood, you're not gonna, you're gonna cancel that meeting or you're gonna, you know, cancel that date or whatever it is, right?
So your mood, whatever you honor runs the show. Now. You don't have much to say about your feelings because they just happen. It's like, you know, if you could create your feelings, you wouldn't create half the feelings you have. Right? And you don't have much to say about your body other than, you know, feeding it and, you know, hydrating it and stuff like that.
I mean, you know, you're gonna if you have gas, you have gas. You're not like controlling that for the most part. Right? But you have 100 percent say over your word. It is only thing. That you have 100 percent say over everything else is somewhat of a crap shoot. Like, you know, you have to, you know, you got lucky today, but you know, there are days you can't cancel your podcast because you don't feel well, you know, or whatever it is, you know, it's sometimes you have to just.
Get in action because that's what it is. And especially if you're a parent or if you're, you know, you got kids, what are you going to like, well, I don't feel like feeding them. I mean, it's like, well, too bad, you know, it's just not life doesn't work that way many times. Sometimes, yes, but most of the time, you know, that's not what's going to give you power and be able to create your life.
So what I've found and what I've developed for myself is. I identify as my words. Mm. So not only does that give me the ability to do what I said, which is like a low level, that's nothing I could create how I'm, I literally can create being happy. I can create, being appreciative, I can create being at peace no matter what the circumstances are, which is what I mean by being unmissable with.
Yeah. So even when I'm dealing with like the most dire things, my mother having a str a stroke, you know, something in my marriage that you know is going awry or whatever. I am able to create being at peace, create being powerful, not forceful, but like able to respond. I'm so it's, that's the real point.
It's not about getting up at seven or whatever. It's, it's about being able to create anything with your word, which is the magic of being unmessable with. Oh, so true. And actually a couple of quick things there. One, That is one of the defining through lines that we'll often see when people are coming our way, they're struggling with their sleep.
And certainly that was part of my story was a sense that I don't have the ability to create the life I want to create in that low level kind of reality, showing up on the level of sleep, the level of your results in your business or what have you. Money or, you know, overspending and yeah, exactly. The whole thing, exactly.
So. One of the things that I've actually mentioned you quite a bit for people around is something I think could land for people of anticipatory anxiety. And I see this all the time because, you know, every client we're working with is wearing the aura ring. So we'll see some things on their calendar coming up.
They've got a big presentation for their business or they're speaking at a conference. I was just going to say that. So that was one of the things I wanted to mention was that for me, The fact that I am now a paid international speaker still blows my mind and you have a huge part of that. And I share this because I know that so many people also deal with stressors and fears around just, you know, expressing themselves in front of others.
And for me, this has been a huge journey. And so much of years back, I remember literally throwing up before needing to present in front of a group. This is way before you. And so now to no myself as someone that can have that on the calendar, actually have excitement for those things and now be in the game of improving my skill sets and up leveling that and actually continuing to improve that area of my life.
That's just a huge huge deal. So I wanted to touch on that because. It's something that I see for so many people that it really can mess with them. Some sort of performance piece, whether they're an athlete, whether just something is coming, and now they're getting really, really rocked. And I wonder if you can Or it could just be they're going to have to go spend Thanksgiving with their mother in law.
I mean, that doesn't even have to be an athlete. Totally, it doesn't have to. Yeah, it's like whatever, whatever future you're kind of going towards. That's stressing. So one of the things that I work with people in my Unmessable with Foundation course is identifying the red flags that tell you, you are about to go down the road of being messable with or hooked or reactivated, right?
So it shows up differently for different people. But like, if you just look for yourself, how it used to be when you would have a speaking engagement coming up, what would physically happen that would be an indicator for you or a red flag, as I call it, that you're. Either about to be messable with or being messable with Oh so many and thankfully with you I did I have a whole document now some of my red flags So a couple things that seem to come up for me.
It's the overstrategizing hyper vigilance on uh, do I have a pack the right thing what's It's the slide on this thing and all of that trying to get it right. All of those just flowing in with hyper chatter, just a brain that's going and going is one of the things. And that's definitely for a lot of people that kind of hyper chatter.
I like how you named that, right? So, um, because overthinking is a little. Conceptual, but hyper chatter is sort of what the experience of it is. It's like, you know, like that kind of, yeah. So you can't always catch yourself when you're in the midst of being reactivated or down that amygdala hijack kind of road, but you can catch the.
Physicalness of it right before you go too far. So for some people it's a tight chest. For me, it's like tight chest, shallow breathing. Yeah. When that starts to happen, I'm like, whoa, what just happened? What? Where am I going? And what just sent me there for you? The hyper chatter. It's like, okay, what just happened?
So getting related to what's actually happening or reality like I did with the hormones, you know, just getting related to the reality. Packed reality. If you're not related to reality, you can't impact it. Yeah. So the same thing with what's happening when you're in a heat of a moment getting hooked, right?
Yeah. Or you have that future, you're, that's coming up and you're like already hooked, you know, thinking about it. So catching the physicalness of it allows you to stop it before it goes too far. So in that moment, you can stop. And some people do it by breathing, some people do it by physically getting up.
I find doing something physical works best because what's actually happening is physical. When you are in that survival brain, right, it's the back part of your brain, it's the amygdala that is, you know, going crazy. And when you're in the creation part of your brain, it's a totally different part of your brain.
It's like a different headspace. So to physically intervene in what's happening. I find to be the most effective way to do it. So do something this get up, walk around, look up, do something that's going to interrupt physically the back of your brain and bring you to neutral and then the front of your brain into what you've pre created.
So like with you, we pre created something for you to go to instead of that world of the hyper chatter and whatever was going to hook you and the, you know, being worried about how it was going to go and all that kind of stuff. Yeah. So. I find pre creating very important because when you're in the heat of the moment, it's kind of hard to create something when you're just sort of, you know, surviving.
So you've got to get to neutral, but then you got to have something pre created so that you can go down a different pathway. Otherwise, getting to neutral is good. It's better than nothing, you know, but you're going to end up back in that other world because that's where the pull is. That's where more all the muscle memory is.
Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, a couple of things that I've always been left with some of the ways that you've really helped me relate totally newly to this concept of being in front of people and sharing, you know, some of my this, you know, message that I have on the planet. It's like you help me define. Why are we doing these things?
What is the point? And actually bringing it back to our missions and for all of us, for everyone listening, there's an opportunity for us to have kind of an overarching mission, purpose, thing that we're lit up about and to be able to pull back to that and to not make ourselves wrong that we're still going to have some of that chatter is going to be chattering, but to be able to notice it and then suddenly the noticing it, it's like kind of frees you a bit of it.
Right? And then that prison kind of drops away and like, Oh, I'm doing that thing. Okay, no big deal. And then able to still actually be in action and then ultimately be unmessable with. And these things, these elements, I just feel are so crucial for us in our society of hyper paced, fast paced, on our screens and all the things to have this ability to interrupt and pause.
is everything. So with that being said, one of the things that I'm really fascinated to hear with you and hear what we can learn from how you're managing things in your own sleep, we do ask every person that comes on for questions around just what we might see kind of fly on the wall for you in your nights and days.
So our first question is, what is your nightly sleep routine looking like right around now? Well, for sure earplugs. Okay. I, I love earplugs. Number one, my husband snores and I don't want to sleep in a different room than him because I love sleeping with him. And so the minute I'm ready to go to bed, the earplugs go in and then it just, it really doesn't take much time after that.
So I find that really makes a difference. Okay. And so for you, there's none of that kind of like, Oh, my brain won't turn off. All of that stuff has just been handled because you've been handling. Your life throughout the day. Well, well, throughout the day, I get things complete when things are incomplete, whether it's something like you had an argument with someone in your life and you didn't resolve it or you didn't complete that item.
Incomplete items create fodder for the mind. Absolutely. So well said. I think we all need to kind of, uh, underscore that takeaway. That's so wise. Well, which would bring me then to our second question, which is, what does your morning, quote unquote, sleep routine look like with the argument that how you start your day can impact your sleep results?
What might we see there? Well, typically, I don't really need an alarm anymore to wake up, but I set my alarm every day just in case and I get up and I have my coffee. And then when I'm in Paris, where I live part time, I do my hot yoga and I have my breakfast and I walk and then I start my day, you know, so it's really about self care.
I, it's interesting because since I've, I've been back in New York for a couple of weeks now, and I've noticed my morning routine is not the same because in Paris, the time difference. It's kind of gives me my mornings, deal with my own self care, but here I start my mornings at 7 a. m., so I'm not, I'm not going to wake up at 4 a.
m. and start walking around and do it, you know, like I'm just not going to do that, right? So I wake up right before I start my day and it's a very different thing. And I said to my husband yesterday, I was like, you know, when we come back for months at a time, I'm going to have to restructure because having that morning routine, like you say that wake up routine.
To honor what I'm creating with my well being is critical. And I have not designed it into my calendar being here in New York. I'm just keeping the same calendar that I had. And if you don't design it, and if you're not the author of it, you're going to be the effect. Of what's coming at you. And I have found myself in that position the last week or two.
Yeah. Well, and for context too, just further to that element of creating, you know, dreams fulfilled, you're someone that lives in now Paris, New York, Hampton. So the whole thing, it's a horrible situation. Yes. Yes, exactly. And then to your credit, I feel like you just got back to New York, like. Five seconds ago.
So I, I cannot wait to see you very quickly. I've never seen anyone shift into action with more velocity than you. So that will be very cool to see as you balance those two worlds. So amazing point. And then the third question would be. visually what might we see on, you know, your nightstand or if you're traveling, kind of barbarian nightstand or maybe different nightstands and your different...
All my nightstands have the same thing on them. They have my blood pressure medicine that I take in the mornings, you know, all those kind of things and my supplements. Water for sure, because I sometimes wake up and need water. And, uh, earplugs sponsored by earplugs. I know I should really find like a, an earplug company that I'm loyal to and have them, uh, but really I, I think, and I do that on the plane too, cause I travel back and forth a lot, as you know, and if I don't have earplugs in, I will not sleep.
Yeah, absolutely. So many people are that way with the earplug piece and just, you know, I guess what I like about what you're sharing is it is interesting with all the people that we've had on the podcast. It's been, I feel like it's noteworthy. The minimalism often seems to be a winning strategy. I don't have to discount people that have got a whole, you know, 27 step process, but I do feel like there's something to be said of just being able to trust ourselves Selves to be able to get great sleep reliably, and then of course have our, you know, things and strategies that we do.
But largely the simplicity seems to be just, uh, important notes. And my phone is there, but I'm disciplined enough not to go down a rabbit hole with my phone at 2:00 AM if I wake up to go to the bathroom or something like that. Because if I do that, then I'll be up. Totally. Oh, well, that's I'm so glad you're sharing about that because that piece for all of us and on the planet at this stage in the game.
I think that's an important goal to have there and just that workability there. And the last question would be, what would you say so far to date has made the biggest difference with managing your sleep or maybe said another way biggest aha moment in managing your sleep? I think it's actually back to what I said before about being awake when I'm awake and being asleep when I'm asleep rather than thinking I should be sleeping when I'm awake and I should be awake when I'm sleeping or whatever.
I don't even know. I mean, just taking the should out of my sleep has made the biggest difference because it's allowed me a lot of peace of mind because even if I'm up for, you know, a half hour or whatever it is, it's not a problem. Yeah. So, I no longer have a sleep issue. Yes. Absolutely. And we see that all the time too for sleep.
One of the things that people come in and they've got their particular results with their sleep and one person will come in with, they had a rough night of sleep and for them it's not that big of a deal. You know, often the partner or what have you, oh, you know, I woke up and then I went back to sleep.
No big deal. But the people that have the narrative that it shouldn't be that way, as you pointed to, that's where we start to often see the snowballing effect. And that's hyper fixating. And certainly that was part of my story. Something's wrong. I got to fix this. Oh no. And then the more we brought that mass to it and have the tendency of making it just a big, big problem.
Now we're going to battle every single night, which is not the most conducive thing to. But that's true about anything. So I find that shoulds are another big top 10 messer, you know, messes with people. If you think you should be different or someone in your life should be different, you think your mother in law should be different or you think your boss should be different or your employees should be different, you are going to suffer.
Any place where you have a should or a shouldn't as the filter through which you're viewing the situation or the person or yourself, you have a recipe for suffering. And sleep is one of those areas where people have a lot of shoulds. Oh, absolutely. It's still wild to me having the opportunity to have you as a coach because I remember years back seeing you speak in front of a room of, you know, 200 people and actually speaking to something exactly like that.
I think you were speaking to these pictures of what we think things should look like. And I remember I was on a Vacation with Blake and the picture we were, we went to Disney and then all these things went wrong. And I remember having you in my brain of seeing my tendency of, Oh, it shouldn't be this way.
And then the freedom that came with like, Oh, this is just my little picture and I'm getting messed with. And all right. And so bring it back. And so the difference that you have continually made in my life. And before you were a coach, before I just got to like observe your teachings and now on a more routine basis, it's just incredible.
So I so, so, so thank you for the difference that certainly you've made in my own life. And I'm grateful for you coming on the podcast to just help spread this message for people that they can get in the driver's seat of their own. They can. And I just want to, you know, just say how much I love and appreciate you so much.
I love working with you. I love being your coach and I love being your friend. I love having you in my life and you have made a big difference in my life as well and do every time we speak. So, and I'm so happy that you're doing what you are here on this planet to do to make a difference for people in this area because Thank you.
It is such a rampant issue for people, and there are accesses to being the author of your sleep. I send people to your website all the time, and I'm like, you got sleep issues, you should go to this website and you should talk to Molly, because people need to be the author of their life. And if they can't be the author of their sleep, they will never be able to have the kind of dreams that they want to come true, because that's a.
Basic, like you don't have gas in your car. How are you going to get to Canada? Yeah, you're not going to, I mean, unless you're already in Canada and then the analogy breaks down, but you know what I'm saying? Absolutely no. And you, it's, it's so well said too. Cause I just got on a call with a new client yesterday.
Who is in the just the throws, sadly, of she's really overtaken with her fears of being dealing with insomnia and the heavy weight of this title and a fear that it's always going to be like this. And one of the things I shared with her was that I am so grateful that I am at a place in my life and I'm going to see the this play out for others, but I'm at a place in my life where now I'm so grateful for that period of my life because it actually gave me this life.
I have now, and this prioritization or appreciation and respect. for this thing of that we do a third of our lives every single night to recharge and really take care of ourselves. So thank you for the work that you do to help support that help me be able to share that message now for people listening and they hear the spark of this magic that you're sharing.
I like to call it magic. It's just, you know, the ability to create a life of your own design. What are some of the ways that people can work with you some of the various offerings that they might be able to be a part of? Uh, there's so many ways. I mean, I have a free challenges that you could get on my website.
I have very, you know, low priced offerings. I have the calendar workshop that you talked about, about creating, using your calendar to create your life. And I think like one of the most powerful ways for people to begin to work with me is in a five, it's actually six weeks with a bonus week recorded program called Unmessable with Foundation.
And that was pulled from a six week program that I designed that you were in. That I was in! And it was incredible. I had a lot of breakthroughs with that. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think it really just lays the foundation for being unmessable with. So it's good, like, entry point into what does it look like to exercise this muscle of creation?
What does this look like to be able to build the muscle of being unmessable with? Building that foundation. So that would be something that, you know, I would say would be a good thing. But if you want to do something free, I would say go to the promise game and just do a five day challenge that gets you in the world of creation.
So it's all at my website, the art of being unmessable with dot com. Oh, so great. Yeah. And to underscore that, I absolutely went through that program and I brought along, I don't know, like eight other people to participate in it because I was so excited of these sort of offerings to be available for all of us just at our disposal on our computers.
I mean, this is just an amazing offering. So I highly suggest people taking a look at that to bring in because you, uh, the big takeaway here is. Often when people come our way to improve their sleep, one of the first things they want are the gadgets, the supplements, the fix, the pill, the whatever. And it turns out that we cannot divorce our psychology, our experience of life, and how we're managing these other areas of life because they will bleed into our sleep.
I still want my earplugs, but yes, absolutely. Don't get me wrong people, I love you so much for the work you do there. Thank you for taking the time and appreciate you. We'll have to have you come back on again for kind of another installment of all the ways to be unmessable with. Would love it. I love you and thanks for having me.
I love you too. You've been listening to the sleep as a skill podcast, the number one podcast for people who want to take their sleep skills to the next level. Every Monday, I send out something that I call Molly's Monday obsessions containing everything that I'm obsessing over in the world of sleep.
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