You might love the idea of getting together with friends and connecting with new people. But sometimes, it can feel like the party scene is just too much…you decide that you're going to feel run down & tired after—and that's when you start thinking about staying home and watching Netflix instead. (*Or even if you identify as an introvert and avoid human interaction like the plague…but you’ve heard rumblings that social contact is good for your health and your sleep…keep reading!)
It turns out that you can have it all!! On today’s episode, we've got Nick, a master of hosting hundreds of thoughtful & meaningful parties (and here you thought that they were all just about drinking 😆 !), here to share secrets from his book, ”The 2-Hour Cocktail Party, “ about how to throw successful events without cutting into your or your guests' sleep schedules.
Turns out, no matter who you are and no matter if you feel like you don’t know anyone, it’s achievable to put together your own event! You just need a guide. —With Nick's approach, you'll get all the actionable steps, from handling RSVPs to closing the event with style, so everyone can socialize without ruining their sleep goals.
Tune in to learn AWESOME tips to help you plan and execute your next event with ease. So don't miss this one! Party on!
Nick Gray is an entrepreneur and author living in Austin, Texas. He started and sold two successful companies: Flight Display Systems and Museum Hack. Nick is the author of The 2-Hour Cocktail Party, a step-by-step handbook that teaches you how to build big relationships by hosting small gatherings. Over 75,000 people have watched his TEDx talk about why he hates most museums. He’s been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, and New York Magazine called him a host of “culturally significant parties.”
In this episode, we discuss:
🥳 What was Nick's initial motivation for writing his book?
“The 2-Hour Cocktail Party: How to Build Big Relationships with Small Gatherings Paperback.”
🥳 From hosting events, what are some of the most valuable lessons Nick has learned?
🥳 How a 2-hour cocktail party can help you improve your health, social life, and sleep
🥳 What we should know about MVP - “Minimum Viable Party.”
🥳 The rise of “low and no alcohol” events
🥳 Healthy habits we can apply from Nick's night and morning routine
🥳 How to Host a Party Website https://party.pro/
🥳 The 2-Hour Cocktail Party: Book info https://party.pro/book/
🥳 The 2-Hour Cocktail Party: Amazon https://amzn.to/39rfb2V
🥳 Amazon — The Easy Way to Host or Plan a Networking Event https://party.pro/networking/
🥳 Clothing Swap: How to Plan the Party https://party.pro/swap/
🥳 How to Host a Happy Hour: Tips, Tricks, and Best Practices https://party.pro/happyhour/
🥳 Nick Gray's personal website https://nickgray.net/
The information contained on this podcast, our website, newsletter, and the resources available for download are not intended as, and shall not be understood or construed as, medical or health advice. The information contained on these platforms is not a substitute for medical or health advice from a professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation.
Huge shoutout to our sponsor: Biooptimizers!
They are my nightly source of magnesium supplementation
go to www.magbreakthrough.com/sleepisaskill for the kind I use every night!
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Welcome to the Sleep As a Skill podcast. My name is Mollie McGlocklin, and I own a company that optimizes sleep through technology, accountability and behavioral change. Each week I'll be interviewing world class experts, ranging from doctors, innovators, and thought leaders to give actionable tips and strategies that you can implement to become a more skillful sleeper.
Let's jump into your dose of practical sleep training.
Welcome to the Sleep As a Skill podcast. My guest today is a good friend of mine, and you might wonder why the heck would we have an episode around hosting parties for a podcast around sleep? But I promise you, I could not be more clear that this could be so transformative for so many people around their sleep.
And what I mean by that is that loneliness and sleep we know to be interconnected in many, many studies. We also know that having a sense of an inner locus of control to have those social networks and that you are at the source point of really creating a network of people that are supportive and in your corner, that all comes from a place of that inner locus of control that we wanna help support you to create for yourself.
And I'm clear that this new book can really help you do that, and in a way that helps facilitate. Having a social life, but not having that spill into suddenly going off of your normal schedule, going really late into the night, or needing to be alcohol based or eating really late now. All those things that can really skew us off course and get us off track with our sleep.
So a little bit about our guests. Nick Gray is an entrepreneur, an author living in Austin, Texas. He started and sold two successful companies, flight Display Systems and Museum Hack. Nick is the author of the Two Hour Cocktail Party, a step-by-step handbook that teaches you how to build big relationships by hosting small gatherings.
Over 75,000 people have watched his TEDx talk about why he hates most museums. He has been featured in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal and New York magazine called him a host of culturally significant parties. Now as a quick aside, again, I've shared that I know and have been connected with Nick for over a decade, and I'm so grateful for his ability and aptitude for bringing people together.
But I think you'll be interested in the fact that it didn't always start that way, and I really appreciate how he really underscores that no matter if you identify as an introvert or being in social situations can make you feel anxious or all these different things. I really believe that the structures that he puts in place can help set a lot of those concerns at ease.
And no matter if you're new to an area or you know many different reasons why you might feel like you're not particularly connected, or maybe you just have your same group of a couple of people. You can absolutely host some of these events and really expand your network of individuals and people at your disposal.
We know that having strong relationships is such a predictor of overall happiness, overall longevity factors. So many of these things will spill into your sleep results, your health results, and just your satisfaction of your life as a whole. So, without further ado, let's jump into the podcast. So I get a lot of questions around sleep supplements, and I'm very hesitant to just throw out a whole laundry list of possibilities.
One, I don't think it's the most responsible thing to do. I really do believe in testing to see what types of supplements make sense for you. And two, because I really truly believe that most of the things that you can do to improve your sleep are behavioral, psychological, environmental in nature, and often don't cost a dime.
However, there is one supplement that I personally take every day and that I do feel quite comfortable with suggesting for most individuals to experiment with because of a couple of reasons. It's high safety profile and high rates of deficiencies in our modern society. Some put the numbers as somewhere around 80% of the population being deficient in this one area, and that is magnesium.
So magnesium has been called the calming mineral and some report that magnesium can increase gaba, which encourages relaxation on a cellular level, which is critical for sleep. Magnesium also plays a key role in regulating our bodies stress response system. Those with magnesium deficiency usually have higher anxiety and stress levels, which negatively impacts sleep As.
Now before you go out and buy a magnesium supplement, it's important to understand that most magnesium products out there are either synthetic or they only have one to two forms of magnesium. When in reality, your body needs all seven forms of this essential sleep mineral. So that's why I recommend a product for my friends over at Bio Optimizers, they have created something called the Magnesium Breakthrough, and taking this magnesium before bed helps you relax and wake up, refresh and energize.
And while we don't recommend that you go two nuts on looking at all the sleep stage classifications on all your wearables. I will share anecdotally that many clients have reported improvements in their deep sleep trend numbers. Again, I don't want you going nuts on the sleep stage classification numbers on your wearables, but I do wanna let you know about that because I know that many of you do reach out on questions of how to improve your deep sleep.
So I also love that bio optimizers offers free shipping on select orders, and they offer a 365 day money back guarantee on all their products. Plus they have a customer satisfaction rating of 99.3%. Very impressive, and you can get 10% off magnesium breakthrough. Again, this is the same magnesium that I use every single night, and finally, you can get 10% off magnesium breakthrough.
Again, that's the magnesium supplement that I use every single night by going to www dot mag. M a g. So mad breakthrough.com/sleep is a skill. And be sure to use the code. Sleep is a skill for 10% off. And welcome to the Sleep As a skilled podcast. I could not be more excited. This is our second live podcast.
Thank you so much for coming over and you are a dear friend that I am so excited for your new book, which is just, and I'm not just saying this because you're a friend, it's truly, if I was just meeting you today, I feel like this information must get out into the world. Yeah. And I really wanna help bridge the gap of why on a Sleep podcast would we ever be talking about this party throwing formula, and why is it important?
Right? So I'm gonna let you share a little bit about one, how in the world you came to write a book like this and how we see that this could be useful for people that are looking to optimize their sleep, their health, their life. Hello sleepers. My name is Nick Gray. Yes. And I too have been optimizing my sleep and following Molly's newsletter for years now.
Oh, yay. I've taken so many of the things that you've shared about sleep and I can't wait to talk about my nightly routine, my morning routine and all the different things. But I wrote a book called The Two Hour Cocktail Party, and a spoiler alert, I don't even drink alcohol. So you don't need alcohol.
Amazing. Underscore underscore people. Right. But yes, but that phrase, cocktail party is a lightweight social gathering. And the idea that we're gonna talk about is if you are having trouble making new friends because your nightlife routine doesn't serve you anymore. Yes. If you're tired of going to parties that don't start till 10:00 PM and feeling like there's no social opportunities available, well this is a way to take that under control to start to host your own events.
And I think you might like them cuz they're only two hours long. Yay. Because they're not crazy bender blowouts and. These parties are designed to only happen on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday nights, which is part of my formula. Yes. And the reason I did it was cuz I got so many benefits myself from building my network.
Really this network of acquaintances and loose connections that became big friends. People like you and Blake and others that we know. I met through and news parties that helped me launch my last business, which was Museum Hack. Went on to be a multimillion dollar business. I don't say that to brag, but to.
You can build these big relationships by hosting parties a hundred percent. And you are absolutely one of what I deem to be one of my most connected humans that I know in such a creative and cool way. Like you have really been caused in the matter of creating this in your life. And it's so inspiring.
And yet I think, I hope that people also get the takeaway that anyone can do this. And that's really, I think, the takeaway with your book. You know, before this podcast, I had read your book, I just re-listened to it on Audible, which I love that you read. I always say this, you know, I love when authors actually read the book and you did that, but one of the things I think you really speak to is this ability for people to really have agency in creating relationships for themselves.
To set the scene or set the context, loneliness and sleep and poor sleep result, mental health issues, and sleep. So interconnected. These are big topics that I think we might not necessarily see immediately that could be impacting our sleep. But if we even just think to C and when you're isolated, what did that do for our mental health?
How did that impact us and how did that impact our sleep results? For sure. So what you're really speaking to is that you can design this in any way, shape, or form, and no matter where you're at, even if this feels totally uncomfortable and new. So if you can share a little bit about what you've seen for people, different types of hosts, is there any sort of barrier to entry to creating this in your.
So I wrote this book to really give people an idea of what is the M V P? The minimum viable party. Yes. So good. So many times you may be listening to this now and thinking, I cannot think about a party. I'd be so stressed. Yeah. That would affect my sleep negatively. I'd be so stressed. I host a party sometimes and it's too stressful, so most people never end up doing it.
And I wrote this guidebook to give people who maybe don't host right now, but they think, Hey, how would my life be different? Yeah. If I had a network of acquaintances and friends that were inviting me to things, what would happen in my life if I got introduced to people all the time? Yeah. By them coming into my life.
If my social calendar was full, if I got invited to cool things on the weekends, how might my life be different? And I found that the easiest way to make that happen is with a successful well run event. Mm. I found through hosting hundreds of parties myself when I lived in New York City, that there was a formula that people could follow to do a well run event, and anyone could learn how to do it.
Yes. So I'm on this mission now to teach and help 500 people to host their first party. I think I'm up to 74 people now. Oh my God. That not just bought my book, but actually followed through all the actions and actually done it and sent me their group photo afterwards. So I talked to a guy last night whose name was Adam.
He lives in Toledo, Ohio. He lived in what he thought was an old house in the bad part of town. Yeah. He talked to me today. He said, you know what, what I thought was bad that my old house people loved, they actually thought that my old house was really cool and quirky. And what I thought would matter about the drinks and the food didn't matter at all.
Nobody really drank that much. They didn't eat too much food. They come for the people and for the connections. Yes. So, and you know, I think to further underscore it, like the problem that we see for people is I see time and time again where people are at the effect of their sleep. They feel a lack of control or ability to certainly influence their ability to change their sleep, but it also seems to ripple into many areas of their life, including their social circles.
And I think you're such a testament to the fact that you're like one relationship away from totally transforming your life. Yeah. I highly recommend people checking out the book to hear more of just all the things that have opened up in your life by the relationships that you've created in these structured events.
There's such kind of results or like high yield by creating these, just these two hour parties and then being known as the person that brings together all of these humans, and you'll transform your identity in a relationship to yourself. Right. So what does this look like? Why is this unique from just like inviting a couple people over?
I'm thinking about this and I'm gonna tell people the exact party formula. Yeah. Which is the Nick Party formula. But I'm also thinking your listeners are so tuned in to advanced sleep tactics and techniques. Yes. More so than the average person. Yeah. And likely in their communities, they are the ones that probably know the most about sleep, right?
Yes. How neat would it be if your listeners could all host a sleep salon? Where they could bring their friends together and simply talk about and let the, their friends share their things. You know, we don't, with a salon, cuz I hosted a dating salon. Yeah. For people that I didn't say it was a singles party.
I said, look, a lot of people are dating and swiping and are lonely and it can be very. Lonely to swipe on these apps. Let's all get together and talk about our experience. What if they did that for sleep and they said, Hey, I've been on this sleep mission to work on and improve my sleep. Let's all get together and just talk about our sleep.
People would eat that up. I bet. Yeah. And they would love that idea. I love that idea so much. And you have been inspiring me so much that I, I'm like, I need to throw something. So I am gonna take that on personally. Really? Yep. I'm gonna definitely do that. Let's do, even though that makes me a little like, oh, look like, I don't know.
And that's part of the excitement of it, that aliveness of like, let's test it out and version one, version two will keep iterating. So I will absolutely take that on and in. I hope that that inspires anyone listening. You can create this around your sleep, around whatever's of interest to you if you want a thematic thing.
Yes. And it seems as if you've played with different things. It seems like you've had multiple different types of events, so, Wanna play with it. Different types of people that we'll be joining Yes. Or what have you. There's lots of ways to maneuver that. The core idea is that all the parties have this operating system.
Yes. Or a formula. And the formula is, if you had to think about it, think about my name. My name is Nick, it's spelled N i c k. And the Nick Party formula is n stands for name tags, always have name tags. Yes. And you might be listening and thinking, oh, that's too formal. It sounds like a business networking.
It feels icky cuz that has a bad word. I'll talk about why the name tags are important, but the simple thing to know is that name tags are more inclusive. Yeah. And they help those that have social anxiety or are introverted. Yeah. To feel more welcome. Yes. It shows that your party doesn't have clicks. It shows that it's a safe space to approach and talk to new people.
And that's what these parties are about. Okay. And is for name tags. Okay? I stands for icebreakers. At the party you'll run three or two and a half quick rounds of icebreaker. We do those. Yes. Even if they sound or seem childish, we do them to help encourage the spirit of new conversations. Yeah. And the secret is to help end conversations so good.
Because if you've ever been at a party, you get trapped talking to someone. Yes. You're too nice to say, Hey, I'm kind of done here. When there's an icebreaker that the host leads, it gives you an excuse to kind of end your conversation. Oh my God. I think I just clicked with part of your formula too, the, the impact of that.
Like I've actually had the privilege, thankfully, being at a bunch of your different events and they've been so good and I guess I didn't until this very moment, see how often that's been so helpful and ensure that you aren't just talking the same two people the whole night, right? Yeah. And that's the purpose of these parties that you're gonna throw in, why your party will be successful, not because of the drinks.
It's not because of the food, it's not cuz of the decorat. That you will bring your friends together from different areas of your life, your neighbors, your colleagues, your coworkers, your friends from high school, from college, random people that you know. Yeah. You'll put them all in a room and you'll help them meet new people.
And that's what's so rare is many adults haven't made a new friend in the last three years. And so as we get lonely, or this does affect our sleep, I mean these numbers are real, that you will live a more fulfilled life when you have an active social group. Okay, so that's the I is the icebreakers. C stands for cocktails only.
Okay. And if you're doing no alcohol, you don't have to have alcohol. Yeah. But what I'm trying to tell people is there's no food. This is not a dinner party. And why is there no dinner? Because it tends to be so stressful and complicated. Yes. That you lose sight of your goals and what your intentions are of host.
This is the mvp, the minimum viable party formula. So good. And when you host a party like this, you'll actually see that the food is not what's important. It's the conversations and the connections. And then the last thing in the formula, N I C K K stands for kick 'em out at the end. Yes. It's only two hours long.
And so we can talk about how to end your party. Many people have questions on that. How to gracefully bring your party to a close and ask people to leave so you can stick to your sleep goals. The times that I suggest for people to do a party, six to eight, maybe seven to nine, five to seven, but it's a two hour time block, so that's important.
Okay. If anyone's listening and thinking like, yeah, right. People are gonna stick around and it's gonna be 11, 12, and now I got these people and I can't get rid of 'em. How do we kick these people out? Because of course, with our sleep, we know that consistency is king. Yes. In the world of, you know, getting great, optimized sleep, but also to not feel like.
We did this thing and now we're stuck with these people hanging around or are regretting doing this, how do we gracefully kick these people out? Well, the number one way to kick people out is to give them the expectation that the party will come to an end after two hours. Yeah. The way that you do that is you set both a start and an end time to your party.
Have you ever been invited to a barbecue on a Saturday that starts at 5:00 PM and now you're doing this mental calculation? Well, it starts at five, so I guess I should show up at 5 45, but the hoster from South America, so actually that means two hours. Oh, but then I need to go to this thing and you're doing, when you host a two hour party with a start time and an end time in the rsvp, people know to show up on time, and it's one of the most surprising benefits that the majority of your guests will show up within that first 30 minutes of the time slot.
So that's number one, is you'll list both a start and an end time in all of your reminder messages and things like that. At the party itself, 15 minutes before it's scheduled to end, you will turn the music down, turn the lights up, and you'll make essentially a last call. You'll say, Hey everybody, quick administrative announcement.
Thank you so much for coming tonight. We have about 15 more minutes left, so if you wanna grab a last drink, say hey to somebody new, I'll start to wind up. Thank you guys. I'll talk to you in a few minutes. Giving them the expectation and the understanding. And then at the time that the party's over, there's a little thing you can do that talk about a cheer.
If that seems too silly, you can just thank them for coming. And then you turn the music down, the lights up, and what I do is I will start to pass out. Any snacks that are left over. Oh, and I start to sort of tidy up and start to clean the party up. Yeah. And it is a very, here's why this works, because many people want that excuse to leave the party.
Yeah. Right. They want that excuse and they will Thank you so much for sticking to the time. Yeah. And be so thankful for it. And it also boosts your attendance rate when you are hosting a two hour party. It's not like a dinner party, which can go 2, 3, 4 hours and length. A two hour party folks really, really like and appreciate it.
The last thing I'll say about asking people to leave is many times you may be worried, you'll hear from a best friend, oh my gosh, Molly, I haven't seen you and forever look, people are leaving. Let's catch up. You know, we didn't get a chance to talk. And so something that I will say would be like, Molly, I am so glad that you came tonight.
Yeah. I'm trying to stick to my goals on my sleep, and I really need to start to clean up. Would you mind if I call you tomorrow? Ooh. Because I wanna connect and I wanna be here with you, but I gotta stick to my goals. So if it's okay with you, I'll call you tomorrow. That 99% of the time people feel seen and they feel appreciated.
Mm. And they just recognize, look, you're sticking to your goals. And everybody really respects that. Respects that. Oh, that's so good. And one of the things, so I wanna unpack that more because I feel like even that alone is so powerful. I've shared with you that one of the things we'll look at is this concept of sleep leadership.
Mm-hmm. , and how to really be a leader in your life as it relates to your sleep and other things. I'm sure, of course. But certainly in this conversation with sleep. And so to be someone that exhibits that kind of protection of their sleep, but also just fun and just not a big deal. That's such a great example what that can look like.
And do you see that people will struggle? So say if someone's listening, they say, oh, wait a minute, so I gotta like make a speech about this. You know, public speaking is like the scariest thing on the planet for so many people. How do they get past that? How do they get the attention of the room? Mm-hmm.
do they do something? You know, I know you've had different harmonicas and different noise things. How do we even deal with that fear to be seen and heard? So I have in my book the exact scripts, the word by word scripts of exactly what to say, and people actually have printed those out and they read from them at their first party.
But before I go any further, I wanna say, I forgot to mention my Aura scores. And I wanna encourage yes, all of your podcast hosts because how could somebody even listen to me if they don't know what my sleep scores are? So I checked right before I walked into this. My readiness score is 84, so no crown, but still good.
Still good. Yeah. My sleep score was 79. That's not terrible, right? It's no, it's a respectable and think over, um, 70 in the aura world is deemed as good. Anything over 85 is exceptional. Okay, good. So the fact that you're even hanging out there is great. I feel like that's a normal-ish score for me, is I'm, I'm frequently 70, so now hopefully I've established my credibility.
Yeah. Forget about the hundreds of parties I've hosted. Think about, see, you're already upleveling our podcast because I need to start bringing that in more routinely. I love that. So good. Okay. So you are a credible and attentive sleeper. You're really in the game of this. So how have you seen what you've done here parlay into those sleep results?
Is that part of what you see too, for just that ability to help with kicking out those people powerfully and speaking to the sleep piece? One funny thing that I can say is that I found that after my parties. I would be a little wound up. Yes. Right. Totally. And one thing that I didn't, I know this isn't accessible, I shouldn't even say it to the listeners because it may set the expectations that they're gonna be wound up.
And that's not always the case. It's just how I am. Yeah. But I would actually book myself a massage after the party was over. Really? And with these at home massage services. Yeah. Uh, it is available to people. I would, when we lived in New York City, it was easy for me to go down to walk to West eighth Street and it was what I needed to unwind.
Now, since I can't always do that here in Austin, Texas, I would do foam roller, I would do some yoga, I'll do some stretching. I love that. To just get back into my body and start to wind down. Some other simple ways is you could do a bath, you can maybe go in the sauna. Mm-hmm. , but just getting into my body sort of after a party.
So I'm ready to go to sleep. Oh my God, I love this. No, you actually, I didn't even think to speak to that. And I don't know how I forgot this, but a hundred percent we hear so many people say, Ugh. The nighttime things like sometimes I wanna, if I'm really protecting my sleep, I will just say no. People will say, I'm, I'm just gonna cut out some of these evening things.
Yes. Because they don't wanna get all riled up. But then we also don't wanna be at the effect of our sleep and feel like we can't have fun and have a big life. No. Okay. So one more thing I just thought about. Yeah. Please. Is I constantly have to remind new hosts Yeah. To eat dinner before your party, because what happens during your party, you're not gonna eat.
Your party will be done 8 39 o'clock and now you're like, oh, I'm hungry and I need to eat. And now you're eating at nine o'clock. And that's not ideal. And so for sleep listeners that are hosting their party plan schedule, think about how you're gonna be able to eat before your party so that that's handled.
Oh my. And might be able to go. That's so good. I mean, cuz so much of what we're talking about too is becomes kind of life design, time management, not having life to sort of happen to us. And these are some of the things that just can make or break. So you don't end the party with the headache because you're starving and you're eating late and now you're sleep really stinks.
And now you've coupled these experiences with you're gonna feel like crap the next day and what have you, but it does not have to look like that. Right. One time I was hosting a party and I made a big announcement at the party, I turned down the music, I stood up on a table and the party was going well, you know, but I was getting ready to wind down.
Yeah. So I stood up on the party, I said, everybody watch this. And I held up a pill. And I think people thought it was a drug. Yeah. Like what's gonna, I took the pill. I swallowed the pill in front of everybody, everybody cheered. I said, well, guess what? That was melatonin. I'm going to bed in 30 minutes.
Everybody hits time to go to bed. Now I don't use melatonin anymore, but for me at that time, that was a funny way for me to try winding down the part. Okay. So that is so good, and I can't believe you've been such a trend setter for so many years being so attuned to your sleep. I. For anyone listening, going back to that element of public speaking, cause it feels as if, or at least my experience of you is that you don't seem to have a problem with me being in front of people.
You had this company Museum Hacks and you know, just a lot of time spent in front of people. What about for those people that are just keep getting stuck in like, oh my God, all these eyes on me, that's gonna be so much, how do you, how do we deal with that? So when you do a party, you do need to add a little bit of leadership to the room.
Yeah. By running those icebreakers. Sure. I mentioned at the beginning that you'll run three rounds of icebreakers. It's actually two and a half because the very first one you do, and it's outlined in my book, happens in the first five minutes when only your first few friends are there. Yeah. And you're gonna do that as a practice, and you're gonna ask your closest best friends to show up to your party early.
So they're there first, they're gonna give you the confidence. When there's about four or five of them there, you'll run a quick icebreaker. You go around the room, say, Hey, real quick, I wanna practice this. Let's say our name. Say what you do for work, and say one of your favorite things to eat for breakfast.
What's something that you usually make? What's your go to? Say it fast. And you do that as a practice to build your confidence to leading an icebreaker. Great. Um, my website for the book and on my blog, I have some videos that show what it's like for people to lead an icebreaker, not just me Yeah. But for some other people and how it looks when they actually do it.
And I would say that if you were to watch it, it looks rather boring . Sure. Yeah. It doesn't look, we're not cheering and everybody's yelling. Yeah. People are just going around a circle. Sure. Saying stuff. Yeah. That's it really. Yeah. Yeah. And yet the energy that happens after you lead that round of icebreakers, the new connections, people crossing the room to go meet somebody new.
It's absolutely explosive. Mm. So the icebreaker itself, now that I'm thinking about it, if you were to watch a video playback of a party, it's really not that shocking. Or it's just people going around the room sort of signaling, Hey, yeah, I'm here, here's what I do. But yet it gives them an excuse for somebody to go up and strike up a new conversation.
So, and good. And that really happens after the icebreaker. Okay. I think your question though is about what are people doing if they're nervous, if they're not. Yeah. These public speakers, my advice to them would be to start your party. We always start by inviting what I call your core group. Mm. These are your closest friends.
Yeah. That if nobody else showed up. You would be happy that at least these five people were there. So good. They will give us the confidence. We can lean on them to say like, oh my God, I'm a little nervous about the icebreaker. Will you guys help me out? Will you stand next to me? Yeah. So using those type of things can really help to build up your confidence for someone who's really has stage fright maybe.
Yeah, absolutely. And also I think part of, one of the things I've gotten from both your book and observing you at your different parties with these structures, It feels as if you were of service to the party and to the people. Yeah. And really with the aim, it's like outward focus versus like, oh, will they like me?
Will they not like me? Blah, blah. All that stuff that we can get stuck in. Yeah. It doesn't land like that. It lands like you're like, okay, this will help support people to make new friends. Let's go. And so I feel like just that shift in being of service or connecting other humans. Yes. Cause now it seems to be part of your ethos and I'd imagine anyone that follows.
Where they start to, you know, how you'll interact with people. Oh, this person, you, you wanna talk to this person because of this reason and give their background in a really powerful way and start to get more and more skilled. And it's okay to kind of stumble along the way, right? Like, you shared some of your stories, you know, of just different things that we might not have thought of and you know, the growing pains of doing this.
But over time you become more skilled at this, presumably, right? Hmm. I did make a lot of mistakes along the way, that's for sure. , don't we all? Yes. And it's okay to do that. Yeah. Uh, you know, and we'll just keep getting better along the way. Yeah. It's funny because I'm, I'm just so passionate about this because it can, we're talking about, you know, people that have stayed fed all the things that can go wrong.
Yeah. But I wanna think about all the things that can go right. Thank you. I've gotten to speak to so many people since my book launched a couple weeks ago who have hosted their first party. Yes. And how it's changed their life. I talked to a woman in Seattle, her name is Tatiana. She's hosted her third party now.
She runs a business that's like stroller, mom workouts. Oh. So they're like very cool workouts for moms with strollers in the park. And she's hosted her third party and she sent me a text. She said, I just hosted my birthday party. It was the best birthday party I've ever had in my whole life. Aww. Because I've hosted the parties, I knew the formula, I just knew how to run an event.
I didn't stress about it because her birthday was her third party. She hosted two first, and she also said that her business has exploded because a word of mouth. Right. She's inviting all these people that are just spreading the word. She gets to talk about her business at the party. And so hearing from those people who, it's so funny, but in the time it takes you to watch a movie on Netflix, you could host a party and build a relationship with 15 to 20 people.
I wanna note that that 15 to 20 people. Is really the best size that I've found. Okay. And the reason for that is it's actually counterintuitive, but the more people you have, the less work it is for you. Mm. Interesting. Have you ever noticed that? Interesting. Yeah. That if you have people over, the more people you don't have to babysit as much.
Sure, yeah. Versus you know, two or three people, one person comes to your house, you're like fully tuned in, what do you need, how can I help? What's going on? But 15, there's enough energy when they come into the room and there's enough people on the edges and the outside. Everybody gets a chance to talk to and meet a lot of new people.
So that's exciting. I love that actually, because, um, one of the things that I was thinking too, for people that might be nervous is maybe having smaller parties, you know, only like five or what have you, people, but to your point, it sounds like it actually would serve us to really go, not go big on this, but go to this like kind of established formula amount of people.
Yeah. Because then they can kind of be self fulfill on some of the intentions of this party, which is just to connect with different humans. That's why for the first party, what I recommend people do is make sure it's a low stakes affair. What I mean is invite your neighbors. Don't reach from the top shelf of people you're trying to impress.
Sure. Your first party should be your neighbors, your random colleagues, your friends, your old classmates, things like that. Wait until you've hosted a couple parties to start to make those reaches to the people that you really want to maybe impress. That's good. I talked to a guy in Kansas City, okay. And he was like, okay, my party's coming up in three days, and you know what?
I've been talking to this girl. We've gone on a couple dates. I think I'm gonna invite her. I was like, bro, stop immediately. Do not invite this girl. To your party cuz you know what's gonna happen. She's gonna come, you're gonna get nervous. Yeah. It's gonna be time to do the icebreakers. You're gonna look around the room and you're be like, ah, the party's going.
You know, I don't want to interrupt the party. Right. I'm just gonna let it go. You know, she's having fun, whatever. Yeah. So I really suggest people, your first party, it's kind of a practice, party of sorts. So good. Okay. So we're building this muscle so that we can make this a routine part of our life. Do you see that there's a cadence by which makes sense for people to host these?
Like is this a monthly thing or is it kind of at your own discretion? Do you see something that works for people at that? The biggest benefits come when you can make hosting a habit. Ooh, love that. When you always have your next, you're inspiring me cuz I don't do any of this, so I'm like, Ooh, I gotta start doing all of the things so Right.
I don't have to have a round two in like a year. And now we've hosted all these things. Yes. Sleep salons, any listeners, hopefully you can share about your sleep parties. All the things. So yeah, that's great. Think about for all the people that you meet, whether it's through your podcast, when through your coaching, through your programs mm-hmm.
all the conferences you go to. Yeah, of course. And you meet these people, but the reality is you're very busy. Yeah. And for you to schedule a one-on-one with somebody, I know how hard it is as friends to schedule for us. Totally. And yet, what if you had something once every six or seven weeks Yeah. Where you're just like, Hey, I'm hosting this cocktail party.
I get together some of my really good friends and just new people that I've met that I want to get to know better. Yeah. Why don't you come. That is where you get the biggest benefits because we go through life, we meet these interesting people, whether it's in our neighborhood, at a party, at the grocery store, and the next step is oftentimes to get a cup of coffee or have dinner.
And many of us never will follow through and actually do that. So I found cocktail parties to be an easy formula. And again, it doesn't have to have alcohol. We were talking about. Yeah. The rise of these low no alcohol events. Yes. That is very acceptable. And people are shocked how little alcohol actually get drank at a party like this.
A hundred percent. Yeah. I've gone to some of yours and had no alcohol and it wasn't a thing. Mm-hmm. and no one cared. And, and it's available if some people want that, if that's part of the process for them, but certainly for our sleep results also to be able to have, I love the idea of being able to have some of these alcohol alternative drinks or you know, the hard keytones or some of the kava or all these other things so you can sculpt your reality to really suit your goals.
So I love, love, love that. And my guess is the advice that you would tell somebody if they're like, oh my God, there's no way that I'm gonna make these iceberg speeches totally sober. I need to have a drink to loosen up. Yes. I'm guessing your advice would be fine, have your cocktail right when the party starts.
Yes. Early. Early, early. Yes. So that metabolism by the time you're ready to go to sleep. So I like that. Yes, a hundred percent. Okay. And you're also getting me inspired cause, and I appreciate you shifting because. We could look at all the things that are scary about these, but also let's have a pull to the why that we wanna do this.
I mean, the amount of people that are just at a point in their life that I speak to, say in their, they're in their late thirties, forties, fifties, and they're single. They're struggling to meet people, they're going whatever, and trying to find other people. Have you seen people like meet other possible romantic relationships, kind of work relationships, all of that is you've seen Yes.
Huge. So I'll talk about both of those. One is the dating relationships. Yes. I talked to a woman who said, yeah, like half the people I invited where my bumble swipes. That had sort of like fizzled out. Yeah. Like they weren't exactly, but like she just followed up. She's like, Hey, I'm hosting, I'm bringing some friends together.
Like, do you want to come? Yeah. And she was real successful with that. And so I thought that was cool. I talked to a guy yesterday who said, I just moved to Denver and I work remotely and I don't know my colleagues. So he's hosting a little barbecue where he is gonna invite them all and use all the elements for my formula.
So good. And he's gonna do the things, you know, part of the formula. The number one fear for someone who's never hosted a party before. Yeah. Is that nobody's gonna show up. Yes. So much of my book about that. Yeah. So much of my book is designed around ensuring that over, based on the numbers I've ran, over 93% of all the people who say that they're going to come will actually show up to your party.
Wow. How do we do that? Well, we don't send mass invitations to people. We don't spray and pray and send out a hundred invites. You send them text, I'll send a text and say, Hey Molly, I'm hosting a little happy hour. Yep. In two weeks on Monday night from seven to 9:00 PM can I send you the information? Yeah.
Then hopefully you'll say yes or something like that, and I'll send you the link. Only once you've said yes, then I'll send you the link to. And then that link is just to a page to collect RSVPs. Many people used to do that on Facebook. With Facebook events. I now like services like paperless post. The one I use is called Mixi.
It's free. I don't have any affiliation, but there's no ads, no spam. Mm-hmm. , the younger kids like this service called Party Full, P A R T I F U L. Okay. There's all these free services. Cool. And essentially what you're doing is just getting somebody to make a social contract. Yes. To say, I'm coming to your party.
You'll then use that to send them reminder messages to keep your party top of mind, and also to mention that start and the end time. So they have the expectations. Look, there's name tags, there's icebreakers. There's only a two hour party. Setting those expectations really helps for a successful party.
Yes, actually, and I think one thing to that point that I've loved that you've done is creating the excitement before the party with that email or however different ways, I'm sure you keep iterating, but some of this experience I've had when going to your parties is like, oh wow, okay. Ooh, I wanna talk to that person.
Cause you create who's gonna be there. Yes. So instead, cuz I think one, what can happen is we get to the day when we said, yes, we go to this thing. But then it's like, oh, who ca, they won't even notice if I don't come Yes or what. But because you've actually identified and put everyone, including yourself on that list, it's like, oh, I'm known.
I've gotta, I gotta show up. So I'm wondering if you can share a little bit more about, cause it's very unique. That's my secret weapon. Yes. It's called guest bios. So good. You'll use the guest bios in two of your reminder messages. And what is a guest. It's a brief biographical thing about somebody. Okay.
Yeah. So mine, if I was writing for you, I'd be like, Molly knows a lot about sleep. She recently went to Hawaii. Yeah, yeah. Ask her about her podcast. So good. But it's not a Forbes 30 under 30. No, it's just, it could be Rob rides his bike for two hours every day. He loves to drink tea. Ask him about yoga. Mm.
They're little conversational access points that you're gonna write for half or more of all of the attendees. It should take you 20 to 30 minutes. So good to boost the attendance rates at your party. Cuz now you've written about somebody, they kind of have to come, right? Yeah. It gets people excited to attend the people that they'll meet.
And thinking about those people that are maybe a little shy or socially awkward or a little bit introverted, it gives them an idea to say, oh, okay, here's what I can ask this person about. Yeah. They're imagining the conversations that they wanna have, so I like that. I love all this. And do you feel like, cuz I'm actually not sure your latest thoughts on a after email mm-hmm.
is there anything that you suggest for that? Or is it more kind of casual? You've been involved in some of the more advanced ones where I may have done this thing that I don't wanna tell your readers because it's okay. Don't wanna con Yeah, don't. It's very advanced. It has incredibly high engagement, but it takes a lot of work.
So for anyone listening, they can send me an email once you've hosted one or two parties, and I'll tell you about that thing. It's called the 24 hour reply all thread. So good. That just boosts engagement and it's incredible for creating these new connections. Yeah. Generally though, what I do. Is I make sure to take during the party.
Yes. A group photo. So good. We take that group photo because you can put it up on your refrigerator. It's gonna serve as a nice memory of this awesome life accomplishment. Learning to host a party. Yeah. And you'll use that photo when you meet interesting people to show them. Say, oh yeah, I host these little happy hours.
Can I invite you sometime? Then you send that photo the next morning as a thank you to everybody who came. Hey, what's up everybody? Thanks for coming last night. Here's our group photo, maybe posted on social media, something like that if you want to. But I use that photo as social proof when I meet somebody new, if I'm at the grocery store, it can be a little bit strange to approach a stranger.
I say, look, I know this is crazy, but I just moved to town. I'm new here. I'm trying to make new friends. I host these gatherings and I show 'em a picture where I bring together interesting people that I've met. Can I send you the information, note those words that I'm using? Yeah. It's not, do you wanna come?
It's not. Will you come? It's simply can I send you the information to my party? And so that's a little hack. Maybe we're getting too advanced for the average listener though. No, this is helpful. Cause I think some of those things, objections can come up in our brain as to why this can't work for us. I just moved to a new place, I don't know anyone.
Mm-hmm. . I just wake up, go to work, come home. Where do I even meet these new humans? Yes. My place is too small. I'm in this little apartment in wherever. Yes. Some of these things that come up and I feel like you're pointing to, there's no objection that is possible that you've certainly, I'm assuming that you've seen that could keep you from creating something like this, right?
Yes. I become something I think maybe as a little bit as you're kind of like a sleep therapist for people. Yes. Yeah. I am like a party therapist. You are? Yes. I'm working with people who have party trauma. Yeah. Who have maybe part Ts d. Yeah. No, I feel like I'm kind of one of these people because actually I'm getting really inspir.
But I have not known myself to be like a host of multiple things or, you know, I know myself as an attendee or an enthusiastic attendee. Yes, but not having the responsibility of the host, and you're inspiring me. Even before we hit record, you came in, you were like, well, you're gonna wanna add in some, you know, , that attitude of that action.
Well, you're gonna wanna add, Molly, I'm, I came to your. To record a podcast and you're roasting me. No, I love it. No, my Lord. It really isn't. But it's so great cuz it's so thoughtful because it real, and I, I shared, I was like, Nick, you could even just come to people's houses and be like the party, you know, whisperer or something and helping to share these things that we might not have noticed.
Yes. That. But it's so cool cause it's something where I love, I say sleep is a skill. Mm-hmm. . I think so many things in our life are skill sets and something like this I think certainly applies. So no matter where you're at, we can cover any of those concerns. So you have right now the excitement and the momentum that, that you wanna host.
And what I would encourage for anybody listening who feels the same way Yeah. Would be to actually take action. Okay. And here's how you would take action. You would look at your calendar, okay. And you would pick a Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. That is approximately four weeks from today. Okay. From right now, you're gonna look at your calendar and choose a Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday night.
That would be good for you to host a party. That's the first step if you're ready. Now, if you think, well, how would my life be different, then you're gonna simply choose that date. Sure. The next thing that you will do is you will text about five people, five close friends, look through your texts, your dms, whatever, to get an idea of who you may message.
Mm. That's that core group that I mentioned. Your close. And you're gonna tell them the following, say exactly this. Hey Molly, I'm thinking of hosting a little cocktail party or happy hour on Monday night, November the ninth, whatever it is from, and choose your time. You need to pick a two hour time. Okay.
So I'm gonna ask you if you, Molly, were hosting a party, what time would you choose a two hour time block? Well, so I would wanna do like five to seven, but I feel like for maybe workability, like a six to eight feels like mm-hmm. good is right. Yeah. Great. Good, good, good. You could also do five 30 to seven 30.
Okay. But for now, let's say six 30, let's start. Okay. You would text them and say, Hey, I'm thinking of hosting a cocktail party or a happy hour on Monday night from six to 8:00 PM on November the ninth. Mm. This key phrase, if I do it, would you come? Okay, that's great. Yeah. You'll text that to five people.
Your goal is to get five yeses. If they all don't say yes and just send it to one or two, a few more people. Okay. You're not doing anything until you get those five yeses. Mm. As soon as you get those five yeses, now your party's happening. Now it's in motion and you follow the instructions for my book.
You create an RSVP page using a free online event platform. You get those five to all say yes. That builds social proof. So when you invite other people, like your neighbors that you know not as well, they see that there's five or six people already coming, it follows along. But the first step if you wanna take action now, is to simply choose that date, set it, and text some friends.
Everything else will fall into place after that. So good. Even as you're sharing that, I'm like picturing what that would look like cuz, and it's. I hope that this doesn't land as like, you know, getting into the weeds. But I think it's so helpful because even as you wrote, you know, or went through that, um, what that would look like, I was picturing Oh, okay.
So I could reach out to this person, that person. Yes. And once you visualize taking those steps, it seems less scary. Yeah. And doable. So love that. And just to any of those other objections, if people say, I, I love how you pointed to other people realize, oh, my place is quirky, or my place is this. If people are in, maybe they don't love their space.
Do you suggest going to other spaces or do you say, just get over that. Just do it in whatever your place looks like right now, any call outs there for 95% of the people that I work with, hosting at home is the best option. Okay. Got it. And here's why. Hosting at home is generous. You're not hosting at a bar, at a venue where people have to deal with a tab.
They're, they're sitting. You don't need the seating. Sitting down is the kryptonite to a successful event. People lock in on conversations. That's hard to approach new people. So good. You actually sometimes wanna remove chairs and remove seating options. Love that. So I've heard from people, oh, I don't have enough chairs.
I said, perfect. You don't want chairs, actually, you want people to stand. Do not make the decisions for your friends as far as whether they will drive 30 minutes outside of town. Don't think, oh, my house is 30 minutes out of the way. You know, nobody's gonna drive out there. I would say, your friends are adults.
Let them make that choice for you. Yeah, and you'll be surprised. The ideas of my home is too messy. My home doesn't represent who I am. You know, at work I'm this one person, but at home I don't have as big enough home. Smaller homes are actually more exciting because there's more energy that's inside of the room.
Mm. Number two, it's such a vulnerable act to invite somebody into your home. It's almost like going on a little date with them. Yeah. And it's so vulnerable and it creates that sense of intimacy and the builds the big relationships. Mm. That is really what my book is all about is turbo charging your relat.
I can tell you that nobody has ever come to a two hour cocktail party and said, ah, this house is too small. It's too dirty. I'm leaving to start a rival cocktail party at my house. Everybody come back to my place. I'm gonna host a better party. Nobody says that. They come in and they'll respect you for actually being someone who steps up and hosts.
Cause the secret is everybody wants to know someone who brings people together love. Everybody wants to know. You can be that person. You can be that person. All it takes is a simple happy hour. Oh, I so inspired. Okay. A couple cool things too. I feel like it also is this opportunity for creativity too, where like, I've just loved some of the events that I've gone to and not to overcomplicate this and get too advanced.
But if you want to get creative, you can have, you know, signs going to your place. Yes. I loved when you did that, right? Yes. Simple signs. Simple signs. Welcome. Here's the bathroom, here's where the trash is. Yeah. Simple signs that you just write on a marker and tape it around the house are so helpful. Oh, love it, love it, love it.
Okay. Did we leave anything out about how to throw parties? Mm-hmm. , anything about how this would relate to your sleep and your life? Anything we missed in this conversation? For people that are listening to this that may have been captivated by the idea to host a sleep theme salon or gathering, let me suggest that you start by simply hosting a happy hour.
Okay. I want you to learn the functional elements of the name tags, the icebreakers follow. Learn how to host a well run tight event. Okay. And then do your sleep salon later. Smart. You can add the themes later on. Okay. But know that you are enough. You don't need a special theme for people to come. People will come cuz they wanna see you and nobody hosts these days.
So good. Okay. And make sure to get that picture. Make sure to do the nick formula. Don't skip on the name tags and think that whatever you might think about name tag, they're so helpful. They really are. You know, and it does remove that anxiety. Oh, what was that person's name? Or all of those things. Just you're really taking out all of the possible nerves.
So really cool. My favorite name tags, as of the recording of this podcast, I list a whole supplies list on my website. Cool. The favorite ones that I have now are you give 'em for $7 on Amazon. They're manufactured by a company called Qualex, C U a. Fec, they're called the Qual two tens. Those are my favorite name tags.
Oh, I am gonna get all, so usually I leave this for the end, but I feel like you have so many resources, so I just wanna say, please get on Nick's newsletter too. Oh yeah. To make sure. Any other changes will, you know, appear or any other updates or, you know, direct people to your site or have you. But you really do take your time with testing these different things, having fun, upgrading, and various aspects.
Make sure you follow Nick on social. Make sure you follow him on his newsletter. So we'll get to all that too. But, so a couple things that we wanna make sure we hit on is what does this look like in your own life? Because you become kind of this social guru or this therapist on how to throw these parties.
So cool. So what do we see in your own life? So we always ask people four questions, and the first one is, what is your nightly sleep routine looking like right now? I'm sure it changes and evolves, but what do we see right now? I can't wait to share this first of all, because my life is not always the best.
I will say that. A bad habit that I have yes, is I've been eating late at night. Yes. That's a struggle for many of us. I totally hear that. Yep. And so I have been eating late at night, but as a result of eating late at night, I was told to take my magnesium three and eight with food. So I will generally take that and that kind of begins my nighttime routine.
I take it 10, 20, 30 minutes after bed. Sure. I switch to a pair of blue light blocking glasses. Yeah. I wear these glasses that you see me on, but they don't have a blue light filter. Mm-hmm. . So I do have a pair of vision glasses that I wear. Generally when I'm getting ready to wind down, I, I switch to those glasses.
I dim all the lights in my house down to 50%. Nice. And I will begin my nighttime routine. For me that often involves taking a shower. Mm-hmm. , I'll take a shower, I will maybe shave, I'll do some moisturizer or something on my face. I will occasionally make an herbal tea. Great. And I'll put very little bit about honey.
Is there still logic to that? I remember Tim Ferris used to put a little honey before bed. Is that right? Yes. So the thinking is, and there's, I often have people test with their CGMs, the continuous glucose monitors to see how this responds for them. But, The one call out is ideally for taking the raw honey separate from the tea, just so it doesn't get denatured in the tea.
With the heat, it can kind of change some of the effects to a certain amount. So you can put a little in, but then also have your main, cause. Part of the goal with that is to stabilize blood sugar throughout the course of the night, so I do encourage people to test and see it what is their particular response to this.
But yes, there is still, you know, a practice where people will bring that in in my shower. I have one of these waterproof notepads. Oh yes. They're like blowing up on TikTok, apparently. Yes. Yep. And I have one of those. And I will, in the shower, write down things that are bouncing around in my head. So good.
And I'll write them down. It just helps me get it sort of off. Okay. So now I've done that. I'll change, I wear a same sleep shirt. Yes. Almost every night. Same. I put on my sleep socks. I sleep with socks. Yes. Yes. And I do these neck stretches. I kind of have, I get shoulders that are tight, so I do these neck stretches before bed.
I don't sleep with my phone inside of my bedroom. Mm-hmm. , it's in another room. So I put my phone into a silent mode. I set it on the charger in the other room, and then I go into my bed and I'll lay down and I will read. And I wish I could say that I read fiction or something like that, but I'll, I'll just grab a magazine and I'll read something like that until I'm tired and then I'll go to sleep.
So you do that in your evening, then you go to sleep, you wake up, and what would we see there for your morning routine? My morning routine is pretty dialed in now, but again, it tends to change every six month or so. Here's what happens now. Okay. Now I wake up and I take a fiber supplement in the morning.
Oh, okay, cool. Just cilium husk. Yep. I then take athletic greens. Mm-hmm. Which I know a lot of people do. Yeah. I found that taking the fiber beforehand, I don't know if it's true, but I was told that fiber is a prebiotic. Mm-hmm. . And if the athletic greens are a probiotic, then you wanna have the prebiotic to help it.
Mm mm-hmm. . So I, okay, I have the fiber and I mix that into water. And then I have the athletic greens. Now I take my jar of athletic. And as soon as I can, I go outside and I go down. I walk down near the creek near where I live and I feed these fish and I feed the fish as I drink the athletic greens and I'm just trying to get outside and get sunlight in my eyes.
Yes. So even as I'm waiting for the fish, I'm kind of looking out towards where there's sunlight. Great. To help me wake up a little bit overnight. I have steeped some green tea just there in the house, so it's like a cold brew. It's just steeping. Once I get home from doing all that walk, it's about at that point, 30 minutes after I've actually woken up.
Mm-hmm. And I'll sip on some of the green tea. At some time, then I will look at my phone and do a little bit of work because there's messages that have to be handled. And then I will ride my bike to go to Starbucks. Yes. And so I ride my bike with a little thermo that I have, and I have this hack to nearly get free coffee because of the stars.
I'm like gaming all the stuff. It's amazing. Love it. So I'll get the coffee that's in a thermos and I will ride back home and I will mix that coffee with GE and some coconut oil and some ci. And I'll sip on that a little bit until I have my first meal, but now this has gone into the afternoon, so that's the gist of my morning routine.
Oh, well I love all the activity. I love the outdoor cell light exposure. It sounds like we've got kind of similar morning routines and that you've been really thoughtful about setting that up and kind of dosing your caffeine intake from the sounds of it, in a kind of mindful way. So it's not just that first thing that's a thing.
I'm really not trying to have it. First thing. I'm trying to wait as long as possible. Yep. For that first caffeine. One thing is I'm talking about, I wonder if I could add in some salt Yes. To my morning, perhaps. Yes, absolutely. I have been one of the people that have become addicted to Element. I don't know if you've got on the Element train.
Yes. And if you want any other ones to test, we've got tons of them I can give you, but that's one, you know, certainly there's trace minerals and there's, or you can even just put plain old salt into your water. So lots of things that you Yes. Do that for sure. And see the, the difference that might make.
And then what would we see on your nightstand? And if you're traveling, it could be gadgets, things of that nature. So I glossed over the socks, but Oh yes. But I do keep those socks right in the night drawer because I have a pair of sleep socks. Yeah, it sounds silly, but I haven't tested, but it does sound, I like to sleep with my apartment.
Pretty cool. 67 degrees Fahrenheit and those socks I think really help. I also sleep with a weighted blanket. Yay. And I sleep with a buckwheat pillow, but increasingly I've been sleeping with no pillow. I go to sleep and then I end up using it or something. Mm-hmm. , what's on my nightstand. My nightstand has your plugs, which I use every single night.
Yes. I have an eye mask. I use that more when I'm traveling. Okay. I got the man mask that you suggest and I like that one a lot. Do I get good? They also have one that you can put in the freezer. Yes. And so sometimes I'll actually use that to like wind down if I'm stressed. That's pretty much it. That's next to my nightstand.
I like that kind of minimal too. Cause that's part of the goal too. And the fact that you, the things that you don't have are important. You don't have the phone right there. Yes. It sounds like the lights are minimal. All of that good. Mm-hmm. . And then the last question is, what would you say has made the biggest change to your sleep game or the management of your sleep?
The biggest change or the management of my sleep is, I believe thinking about, uh, just being mindful of it. And this is gonna sound so silly, but No, now I know what it is. I know exactly what it is. I had a friend stay with me last week. Okay. She stayed. She was one of my best friends and she stayed with me.
And I tend to naturally go to bed. I don't know why. It just happens. I won't start to wind down until 11. Mm-hmm. . And that means I'm not really in bed until midnight. Yes, she is about an hour and a half. Shifted ahead. Well now I have to go to bed. And you know what? Yes. Having her there. I got to bed earlier.
I slept more. And it's, it's so funny cuz I think, well, you know, there's just no way I can't wind down, I can't get in bed before 1145 at night. Yes. With her there, I, I was like, I'm getting in bed at 1115. I was never doing this on my own because left of my own devices. So yeah. One thing recently that has really helped me was staying with her, having some accountability.
Yes. To go to bed. Just simply going to bed earlier. It sounds so easy, but No, that's huge. I mean, I think this goes back. Part of the reason I was so excited to have you on the podcast is this lifestyle design and how so much of sleep management is time management, and part of that is just experimenting and seeing, okay.
Just because I've always done something a particular way. Oh wow. I could tweak this a bit. And it's, we're not saying suddenly you're going to bed three hours earlier, what have you. It's just like a little bit earlier and you know, sharing that with other people, seeing the benefits of that, and then how could I bring that in myself routinely?
Yeah, it's great. It was really nice. It's been, yes, yes, yes. I have more thoughts, but I'd say the weighted blanket and the sleep socks Yeah. Are little things that I love the weighted blanket so much and they're so affordable. Now you get in for $30. If I'm going to a conference or do an event, I'll actually ship the hotel a weighted blanket.
No way that I'll have weighted that. I'll have waited. And you're speaking to something really helpful too, which is for travel, anything that we can do that we normally do, so you know, packing your sleep sucks, packing the ear plugs, or whatever it is that for you, makes it equal. All right, this is my nighttime routine and I'm keeping that consistent on the go.
That could be so helpful for people to just feel like they're not totally thrown off when they're at that new place. So that. And then lastly, what I wanna check in with you about is how are the ways for people to follow you because you are putting out such good content, and how do they get the book?
The different versions of the book? Yeah, all the things. All right. So the name of my book is called The Two Hour Cocktail Party. Yes. And for the show notes, we'll include some articles I've written about how to host a happy hour, how to plan a networking event, and even how to host a dinner party or a clothing swap.
Ooh. All sort of ideas that you can use or follow along. I'm pretty big on social media, so I'm on Twitter, um, Instagram, I'm on YouTube, all the places. And my name there is at Nick Gray. News News nws. Yes. I have something called a friends newsletter where I send it about every five weeks with just the interesting things, a link to this podcast, sleep resources.
Yay. Good business advice. Books I've read shows on Netflix, things like. And that's it. I'd love to stay in touch. I'm on a mission to get 500 people to host their first party. Yeah. So if you're listening to this and you're encourag, I hope Molly's gonna be one of those 500. Yes. I'm on the hook. It's happening.
Yes. Totally. Good. And also, to your point, I love, in your book you say like you have a, um, particular email address for people to reach out if they have any like questions or one accountability. Yes. Um, so if you're listening, what is that emailed you? Please, if you're listening to this and you wanna send me an email, send me a message to.
At Nick Gray news.com Okay. And I'll get it and I'll say hello. I'll write you back. I read every single one of 'em. I'll send you resources, all that stuff. So good. And you know, that's one of the things too. This is not to sell books or what have you. This truly, I really believe, and it's also selfish for me, like as I love going to Nick Gray style parties.
I've said this to multiple people. I feel like we're in Austin, Texas and it feels like there's been this Nick Gray sort of party virus that's started to, and now people are starting to use your formula. Like it's spreading and I wanna see that spread, right? Because it's so helpful and it's so just efficient, you know?
And the amount of time we all have or don't have to be able to go for these two hours and to leave with new connections. That truly, I mean, there's people that I have met at some of your parties that have just been really transforming in my life. And I know that different people, you know, are making these connections.
That might be business connections, love connections, friend connections, and also just shifting our identity of ourselves and what's possible instead of if we've always thought, oh, I'm not a party person. You know, I'm 37 years old, I've not really done these parties, and here we are. We're gonna be stepping into that.
And I hope that that is left for the listener too, that you too can do these things for yourself and still get great. Absolutely do it for sleep. Do it for yourself. Yes. Uh, well, thank you so much for taking the time and coming over live. Our second live person over here in Austin, you're just really, really doing great things in the world, so thank you for the work that you're doing.
Thanks, Molly. Awesome. Sleep on. Yes, thank you. You've been listening to The Sleep As A Skill Podcast, the number one podcast for people who wanna take their sleep skills to the next level. Every Monday I send out something that I call Molly's Monday Obsessions containing everything that I'm obsessing over in the world of sleep.
Head on over to sleep as a skill.com to sign up.